Greg’s 12 Types of Co-Workers To Avoid At All Cost
(BTW—these are observations based on years of co-worker interactions and in no way reflect negatively on my wonderful , hard-working colleagues here at CBS Radio St. Louis who have exhibited none of these qualities during my time here!)
The “Party Meister”: Tread carefully around this person. The company “bowling night” is their Super Bowl, so you best RSVP quickly in order to avoid their stink-eye for the rest of the quarter.
The Close Talker: This is the person in the office who feels the need to stand just a little to close to you when they’re speaking—generally after an extended lunch at the Mexican joint down the street. Having an “exit strategy” is key when you’re cornered in the hallway.
The bitter IT specialist: Do you remember the SNL skit “Nick Burns-The Company’s Computer Guy”?
MOVE!!!! Still the only person you know who uses the word” backslash” as a verb.
The lunch “judger”: And speaking of lunch—“What IS that?” “Did you make that yourself?” “What’s in that?”—are all standard queries from the co-worker who fancies themselves as the company-version of Guy Fierri. This person is the reason you see so many co-workers frantically munching away alone in their offices.
The overly attentive middle manager: This is one to avoid at all cost. This person is determined to be your best friend—whether you want them to or not. When engaged, smile, be attentive and most importantly, keep walking.
The “linker”: You’ve seen every adorable cat video and contemplated every casserole recipe on Pinterest thanks to this person. What they don’t realize is that your Mother has typically beaten them to the punch.
The 20 something social media hipster: They’ll also answer to Social Media “Expert”, “Maven” or “Conquistador”. They speak in terms of “metrics” and “page views” and are up to speed on all the cool new coffee shops in the vicinity. They are also the sworn enemy of the “bitter IT Specialist” (see above) who they view as a sad relic of the 90’s.
The passive-aggressive gossip: They’re always there—lurking on the peripheral—gathering information in a quiet, friendly unassuming way. Think Linda Tripp—circa 1996.
The cry-baby: Anything can set this person off—especially any mention of that jerk ex-boyfriend who was and will always be the BIGGEST LIAR IN THE WORLD! Best to keep things light, bright and happy around this person.
The drama queen/king: Closely related to the “cry-baby” in many ways, but much more self-aggrandizing and narcissistic. (Yes, I was a Psych major for a semester during freshman year.)
The Personal Development Guru: We’ve all dealt with this person who’s read one too many Tony Robbins books. They throw around terms like TED and NLP and are always smiling no matter what. But not a genuine smile, it’s more like the way the dentist smiles at you before the first shot of Novocain. Zig Ziglar is their touchstone.
The Judger: This is the person sitting quietly in the back of the room during the staff meeting—logging mental notes, judging, making assumptions about others.
Wait…. I think that would be me..