So I went to an event Sunday night called “Married Life Live”. This was something put on by a non denominational church (http://www.oakbridgecc.com) and it focused on love relationships and how to keep them strong. I must admit, it was something my wife was a lot more jazzed about than I was. But I must say It was a wonderful experience. Being Valentine ‘s Day, there were some lessons learned that I think we can all stand to bear in mind. First of all, there’s a reason that we have chosen to live our lives with the people that we have. Sometimes those attributes get lost in our day to day routines. The event served as a reminder to keep those things in our thoughts.
It was proposed that our marriages/relationships go through the various seasons just like the weather. Winter, when things are rather barren can be when we’re feeling like there is NO room for growth and the future seems rather bleak. Fall; when things are ok, but it doesn’t feel right and that “winter” feeling is not far off. Spring, being a time when there aren’t any real problems and we’re satisfied, but not happy. And then the perfect season, Summer, when not only are things OK, but the possibilities seem endless. In any relationship, we go through all of these.
The program gave some tools to help us move towards Summer more often. If you find yourself at that fall or Winter phase, try to think of the things that made you fall in love with that person to begin with. I know it sounds easy enough, but we do tend to obsess on those things that we find less than appealing. One of the most useful recommendations I heard was to work on a list of not only your partner’s wonderful qualities, but make a list of the things that you are thankful that they are NOT. If you have trouble coming up with this stuff, just look at some of the issues that some of your friends and co workers are dealing with in their relationships ( addictions, infidelity, fiscal irresponsibility, legal woes). By doing this, it forces us to (stealing a line from Hoagy Carmichael) Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.
We all deserve to be happy and that goes for you AND your partner. Worst case scenario, you’ll be out a little time and a piece of paper. Best case is that you’ll have a stronger bond with the person that matters the most in your life..
Happy Valentine’s Day